So many of us make resolutions for the new year, and so many of us have a hard time following through; often, by the time February hits, and we’ve given up.
Having goals, or a theme you set for your year is an excellent touchstone to keep you grounded, focused, and on track for success in living a full and enriching life…but you don’t want to set yourself up to fail. So this can be a slippery slope.
This year, shift your thinking from “things” you want to achieve, to the feeling you want to be in.
To get into the real, true, daydream vibe of this exercise, you can teach yourself to practice creative visualization, the process of mindfully getting yourself into a state that makes your dreams feel like a reality. This is basically your imagination on steroids, it feels amazing, and it straight up works.
For example, rather than say you want to lose 20 pounds by this time next year, shift your thinking to “I want to feel healthy and confident in my body.” Picture what that would feel like – every day – in every sense. What would your clothes look like, how would you carry yourself, what would you be able to do with your body you feel you are held back from now? Dive into those questions, and let yourself FEEL the answers. Gradually, throughout the year, you will find yourself making consistently healthy choices to support that…and bam, before you know it, you’ve shed the weight by changing your behaviour in a lasting way.
The same is true of love and money: instead of “I want a $10K raise this year,” think about the freedom you want to have, that you think a higher income will afford you. And then, throughout the year, you will find yourself making the choices that keep pointing you in the direction of achieving that state of freedom.
Instead of “I want to have found my partner by December 2018” ask yourself what it is you really want from a relationship – is it more love? Security? Comfort? Adventure? Then think how much of that you can be giving to yourself, versus depending on someone else to meet that need for you. Then allow yourself to sink into a rich and juicy daydream of what a loving partnership would feel like in your life; again, when that state is so clearly defined in your brain and body, you will filter out anyone you meet or date who doesn’t fit the feeling. Secondly, you will start to attract people into your life who actually DO fit that picture of what that love feels like.
This shit is magic. You have to make yourself believe fully that it is possible to get there. Really get yourself to that place, maybe through a specific meditation, maybe just being mindful of your thoughts, maybe through a journal. Imagine yourself feeling lighter and more trim, making better food choices in quality and quantity. Picture yourself in a state of having what you want and need, traveling or exploring, eating at the restaurants you’ve maybe been avoiding. Truly feel what it would be like to have the partner of your dreams at your side, in your space, going on dates, waking up next to, brushing lovingly past in the kitchen, taking care of when sick, sending spicy texts to during the day.
When you shift your thinking form one specific goal, to dwelling in the state you want to feel, you can plant the seeds of change in your brain about the reality it wants to perceive. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between past, present, and future, so really, what you think, you start to create, just by thinking about it and really visualizing it.
Take the next couple of days to coax yourself into this exercise; really get clear with yourself on what it is you want, and allow yourself to feel the resistance – because your ego and subconscious will work in overdrive to convince you that you can’t have what you want; they’re jerks like that. But keep being true to what you know is the best possible feeling for you to have as you move forward through another year, write it down, and allow yourself the pleasure of exploring that vision of your life as you want it to be…and get cozy watching the magic start to unfold throughout what I think is going to be a very good new year.