May I share with you a pattern I’ve observed recently?
1️⃣ Significant emotional event
2️⃣ Repressed feelings from the event
3️⃣ Secondary trauma from the repressed feelings
4️⃣ Triumph in overcoming the catalyst
5️⃣ Further triumph in overcoming the original event
6️⃣ Comfort and validation found in the triumph
**and this is the big one ⤵️**
7️⃣ Attachment to the comfort and triumph of overcoming
8️⃣ Identity defined by the attachment to the comfort and triumph of overcoming
9️⃣ Resistance to releasing the attachment to the comfort and triumph of overcoming
🔟 Tertiary emotional trauma brought on by staying stuck in the attachment to the overcoming ie BUT WHO WOULD I BE WITHOUT THIS STORYYYYYYY
1️⃣1️⃣ Pervasive feelings of “how am I still not over this initial event?! It’s been like 35 years…”
I’ve noticed this sneaky pattern popping up, that, in spite of overcoming the pain of the last, we stay attached to that pain BY attaching to the victory of overcoming that pain.
➡️ This is where subconscious work becomes an INVALUABLE resource to our growth, healing, evolution, and embodiment:
➡️ It allows us to go DEEP, easily and effortlessly, to learn what the hell lesson we NEED from the pain we’ve been hanging on to, honour and integrate that lesson, and teach our brain to feel
➡️ As long as you have something to gain – especially subconsciously – from hanging onto the story or the pain of the story, you will never feel free of it.
➡️ It’s in the subconscious and shadow work that allows us to bravely turn on the light and give ourselves the space we need to hold and heal.
➡️ This is the work we need to accept, embrace, and embody WHO we are AS we are, independent of any one or any thing else.
“It is safe for me to detach from the story.”