Easy, instant behavior-changing question: “why am I doing this?”
It is this simple, it is this complicated.
We often keep following the same patterns of behavior, because it’s what we’re used to. Other times, we follow these patterns of behavior because someone else told/taught us to.
Asking “why” is an incredibly empowering question. Anytime we interrupt our usual patterns and flow, we shift our conscious awareness. That’s psychology nerd for “we start to pay attention to stuff in a different way.” And when we ask ourselves why, and allow ourselves the time to answer, our reasons are usually way out of line with our values and intentions. Which kickstarts a whole whack of unhealthy emotions and behavior.
Why am I eating this? Why am I buying this? Why am I spending time with this person? Why am I speaking like this? Why am I having this glass of wine?
I’ve alluded several times here that I don’t drink anymore, and that I’ve appointed myself president of #ClubSoda. I’ve been 100% sober for over a year, and in that “sobering light of day,” fully able to question and examine the why behind my numbing agent of choice, I came to some pretty hefty observations.
“I didn’t want to deal with the emotional weight of the things in my life, so I’d have another drink to time it out. And then things didn’t seem so bad.”
This was a very, very painful point of arrival for me, the realization that I had unwittingly developed an unhealthy dependence on alcohol. Mixing drinks, entertaining, sourcing special wine and liquor to pair with food were all “hobbies” of mine, and I don’t realize how far the scales had tipped, until I got the wake-up call to quit drinking completely.
The newest episode of To Call Myself Beloved: the Podcast With Leisse Wilcox is now available on iTunes, and it’s about my own (formerly) unhealthy relationship to alcohol. Alcohol, like any substance, is a reach. And when we reach for something to make us feel a particular way, we REALLY need to ask ourselves why.
You can subscribe now on iTunes, and listen to the conversation that’s going to change your outlook on booze, make you really mad, or both. If it pisses you off, this is an EXCELLENT sign this one is for you. This is a literally judgment-free conversation about my own thought process around and relationship to alcohol, and has really, really valuable information in it, aptly titled “how to not drink alcohol and still have a good time.” I’m also sharing how I kept ALL OF THE THINGS I LOVE about cocktail culture and entertaining / socializing the same, without even noticing the alcohol had been removed from the equation.
This is a must-listen for anyone who has ever reached for something ELSE, something external to ourselves in an attempt to “feel better.”
Listen now on iTunes (#linkinbio) and be sure to tag me in a photo of you listening so I can share it, too. Cheers (ay-ohhhhh. See what I did there??)