Divorce is THE single hardest experience of my life. For context: I lost my sister when she was 21, got breast cancer when I was 36, and six months ago I chose to completely remove my breasts as a preventative measure. So it’s safe to say “I’ve had some pretty hard experiences.”
And still, divorce is – BY FAR – the hardest.
Divorce is a lot like herpes; it feels like the “gift” that keeps on giving. Just when you think “oh thank God it’s over. I can breathe again,” nope. There it is, dropping some insane + unexpected flare up on you. Again.
**Truthfully I have never had herpes…but I have had a divorce, and I can tell you intimately and with a great degree of accuracy, this is exactly what it feels like.
Many, many people reach out to me + ask me to share more about my own divorce. And I won’t. It is WILDLY personal, and belongs to more than just me. I don’t think it’s fair to share details that involve other people’s lives in such a public way.
I also know that part of why divorce is such a shit show, is because you CANNOT talk openly about it; in keeping it under wraps, filed under “what not to share at dinner parties or on Instagram,” you accumulate additional layers of emotional suffocation + shame.
With any other loss, you’re “allowed” to process it out in the open, and in doing so, feel it to heal it. Divorce – even in 2019 – is too taboo to do that with. So instead we bury it + suffer – and I mean SUFFER – largely in silence.
Nobody really knows the actual pain of divorce until you’ve been in it (or until you’ve been on the receiving end of multiple SOS calls from someone close who is in it), making it easy to judge from afar.
So I recorded a podcast on what it really FEELS like to get divorced. And for anyone who’s ever scoffed + said “pfffft. Divorce is taking the easy way out,” BA HA HA HA HA this is for you. And it’s for the person googling “should I stay or should I go?” And it’s for the person who never forgave their parents for splitting up. And wow, it is for the person who’s in the thick of it who thinks no one notices what they’re going through.
I see you. I feel you. I can hold you with my words + tell you you are not alone. Time is a great healer, and starting over is not a failure.
To Call Myself Beloved: The Podcast With Leisse Wilcox is now in the Top 50 self-improvement #podcasts on 🍎🎧. Listen now, and be sure to rate, subscribe, and leave a review! I will shout you out on Instagram.