I want to talk about that feeling you are having: the feeling in your chest that there’s “more to this” than you have, and you aren’t quite sure of how to get it. Not more “stuff,” but more satisfaction, more ease, more comfort, joy, and laughter.
I want to talk to you about that little flame that keeps sparking up in your belly saying “this is not enough,” and whispering it quietly at first, and getting louder as you push it down.
I want to talk to you about the feeling that you’re having, that feels a lot like truth, and the feeling of doubt or even shame that comes up around it, when you feel like you’re ungrateful for not being satisfied with what you have. That feeling of conflict, knowing that the grass is greener where you water it, and yet…you’ve been watering the grass in the same place, and here you are standing on it still, not feeling any different.
I want to talk to you about the friends and family and other little voices ringing in your head luring you with how safe and comfortable this life feels, how this is what you know, and what you’ve always known, and maybe what you think you want is fake or unknowable. Maybe what you think you want is a fairytale, unattainable, not for you, a fantasy life with a super lucrative job that you love, or a relationship in which your needs are completely and lovingly met.
I want to talk to you about the bravery it takes to confront those feelings, and the strength it takes to not only own up to wanting a change, but feeling the wanting of the change. And I want to talk to you about how if you want it – like, really want it – and know on a deep and soul level that might not make sense to you right now, you need to address it.
I want to talk to you about finding the courage to be really honest with yourself, and the people it affects around you in an immediate way. I want to talk to you about needing permission only from yourself to make the change that feels right to you, and to leap, by all means, and maybe consider leaping with a plan that honours your wants, needs, and boundaries, while kindly and graciously respecting those around you. Honouring yourself, respecting the ones involved.
I want to talk to you about bracing for the depth of the growth involved in transition, the tenacity to brave uncharted waters, the resiliency to cope with the loss you face along the way. Because there will be loss, dear one, and that’s ok – it’s even to be expected – I always go back to the Picasso quote that “every act of creation is first an act of destruction.”
I want to talk to you about how just because something is new and maybe even a little bit scary, doesn’t make it wrong. Doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t go for it.
I want to talk to you about how when you do follow through and take that leap, the leap I know your heart is screaming at you, begging you to take, that many will criticize you; many more will not understand, and even more will turn their back when you need support the most. And I want to talk to you about how that is their choice, not yours, and that the ones you need and who will get you, plus understand and respect your leaping will appear. There might not be many of them, but they’ll be the ones you need, and they’ll be there when you’re ready.
I want to tell you that this life is yours, and it’s yours to live. It’s yours to live in a way that makes sense and feels good and whole and stimulating and love filled to you; and I want to tell you that this is not a destination, it’s an experience. An experience of making the leap, falling down a few times, but carrying on anyway because you know what you know.
I want to tell you that sometimes when you do what you know to be true, you need to leave behind what you knew; you need to understand that the people you thought were going with you aren’t going with you anymore, and that your life might look different than you imagined for yourself, and most certainly different than the life other people had imagined for you. And that’s ok too.
I want to tell you that the only person who knows what they need is you, and that others can listen and support you, even guide you through the figuring it out, or the strategy of it all, and the paradoxically beautiful human truth is that ultimately, it still comes down to what you feel to be genuinely yours in your gut.
And I know you can do it; I know you can honour your truth, face the adversity that will invariably appear, and carry on stronger, happier, and more beloved than before.